Thursday, January 3, 2013

Talking to myself...

When you have four followers, I know this information is not earth shattering.
I know it is a lot more isolating caring for the sick, whether human or furry, and I have exhausted the ears of my face to face friends, but I am venting again.

Seems like holidays and weekends tend to seem worse.  Not sure if it is me because I have no distractions or if what I am seeing I should be looking at EVEN MORE closely.   He is sleeping a lot.   He is not eating again.  I am hallucinating the tummy is getting bigger.

Bigger.... about like he was in September when I brought him in because he was throwing up and acting oddly.   Now I am not at all sure what oddly is.  BUT because I am inflicting nourishment on him multiple times a day, he does not vomit much at all.  Tends to on empty to wake me up gently in the morning, running for the paper towels!  But more than a week apart.  When he was healthy he would eat too much too fast and throw a full tummy up... when I was gone it would end up cleaned up by him, but as I am around a lot more now, I know it is staying down and only once.

His fur is shiny, although when I pet him a lot it looks clumpy.  I know that is static electricity because we spark a bit too.  Unloved he is fluffy, not shedding and full.

There are very odd and distinct brown clumps in the irises of his tree-frog green eyes.  I wish I knew someone skilled in pet virology because I KNOW it is telling us something.

And he barely notices birds when we go out.

My plan was to sort of stimulate his appetite.  Let him think of stalking his food and bring him in to chase treats... but he is so used to it, he barely chatters at the mocking bird or two and the Inca dove that tends to join us (THEY like the kibble... even if he is ignoring it.)

Yesterday a neighbor and her sister walked by and humans chatted, but he made an escape right out of his collar and into the door.  That was great!  I don't want him panicking but if he comes inside I don't have to fear him running off.

So.... I see him doing little muscle twitches that I think must be from the DCA.  I am going to invest in the B1 they say we need and the neuropathy is reversible.  BUT I still don't know what that tumor IS.  I am trying to cut the steroids in case I actually have a whole cat at the end of this.  I would like him functional, not sick from the side effects... but I really am hoping his wonderful sleepy, cheerful self (not him, really... so I know he is not well) can stay a LOT longer.  But I really will need to get a life SOME day!