Small Victory!

He is on the soft.  ON it, not under it.

I bought a little heating pad called a Cozy Spot, which is basically a pocket with two holes sewed on an 8" heating pad.  Not really hot, not really big and I put it under the towel I keep for him so the tile floor doesn't chill him more than my already chilly, space-heated room.

After a bad attempt at letting the pepcid dissolve (too anxious on my part) and finding both his pills still in the syringe, I gave him a soggier smaller dose and tried to hurry him outside for his promised sit.

Brrr.  HE may have enjoyed it but humans are not strong enough to sit there and chill, so it was a brief escape.  I caught him at the water bowl and he had tried a taste of the AD.  AD smells something yuck, which cats - normal cats - find very yum.  He gave it a couple of licks.   I am not sure if that indicates he is getting the tiniest appetite again or what but he didn't even try it yesterday.

And I brought him to the sofa and left him on the electric blanket.    And, he stayed for a while while I sketched.

Now when I go back, he will probably have hunkered down again, but he tolerated me again.

Success!

My vet does not think I am crazy.

MAN!  I was so happy.
There is a great acceptance of the miraculous going on, but she said that prednisone can really mess up their tummy so go get pepcid!  I am back up on the prednisone with a promise to come back after he is fattened up.

I want to apologize again to everyone who is so patient with me portending my trip to euthanize him and not doing it.  There are STILL viable options with his condition and I am just too effing stubborn to give up.

Well, we may be premature.

So I have been so worried about his kidneys I wanted him to reduce the prednisone.  Apparently those side effects I was not seeing (weight gain and over-eating) were diminishing.  So I just watched him war with me about food for a whole day and went back to the full dose.
Today he is so much more himself.
He loves to go outside and watch the birds.  The dove circles him and the two mocking birds that eat his leftovers watch, he watches back.  I have not had much luck of recent days doing much but sitting outside, but he does think the same kibble is tastier out there.
I keep reading about acclimating pets to new food.  It seems he literally cycles.  One day he only likes treats.  One day it is the fake steak red bits in the kitten food.  One day the green ones.  I swear, he is messing with me!

So, because he has a foot stool near the window but likes to sleep on the electric blanket all day (on) I saw a little sort of an electric muff in the Walgreens and put it on his glass viewing table with a (yes, I have one) Snuggy, all folded up to allow me to unplug and possibly save a bit of fear and electricity.

He is good today.

I am ok too!

Hefty!

I swear.  He is getting bulkier.
Yesterday a friend gave me a couple of bags of the cat food she feeds her pets.  Blue Buffalo and Taste of the Wild.   He ate it like treats.  I didn't put it in a bowl, for fear he would know I wanted him to eat a lot.
He is eating (not nearly enough) but kibble and on his own.
The vertebrae are less visible and I really can't tell if the belly is round from eating properly or if it is still the tumor.  I would sort of like to see it a bit shrunken, but I can't honestly remember what a normal tummy feels like.  It LOOKS perfect.
He is leaving his little halter on all the time.  It is a wee bit tighter than I like it but he is very comfortable with it up in his armpits so when I link my "Jethro" lead to it, he just saunters our the front door with less stress.
The trips outside seem really to help him.  He is more alert and much grumpier.  He has always been grumpy.  Demanding and vocal, I was worried at first and then realized that the sweeter he is, the sicker he is.  His returning nastiness is all great!
dj*

Svelt...

Seriously, I swear he is getting skinny.  Not in an emaciated way (although really, he is not back to normal) but I used to cringe watching him walk away with that roundness BULGING out of him.  Well, I just look and think, I am going nuts, but it is smaller.  Like a grapefruit, not a cantaloupe and although he is bonier, he shoulders are not as bad as they were when he was really sick!

So.
Anyone know what will create an appetite?  I mean I am personally shoving all the food I can into his little mouth.  I know it is not enough but it seems to be what he needs to feed the medicine into that tumor!

Today we did enjoy TOGETHER some chicken from the grocery store.  He had about 5 or six begs and DID eat them when tossed for a while.  Then a break and a couple more.

I tried again in about an hour and he ate.

The trouble is, anything he SEEMS to like one day, he just turns his nose up at the next.

So I am wearing some Fancy Feast fish flavor today.

Hallucinating again...

Because this stuff I am giving him is untested and unregulated, I am flying blindly here, but I had a great day yesterday.

I decided he should get a chance to see the world outside the window so I took him out on a string and let him roll in the dust and bask in direct sun.... and grumble as I was not letting him run free or even very far as he would easily pull out of my little loop (I would NOT let it be a full slip knot so I stopped it from closing) but he was definitely enjoying.  Then RIGHT in and shove food plus med and right out again so he had mental residuals of excitement not force feeding.

And I remembered I had purchased some minced clams.  Was told cats love the stuff.  Poured a little on his open tin of cat food and he was SNARFING... not the whole thing, but large visible bits!
I can't really tell if he is being stubborn from my ambushes or actually anorexic.

BUT here is the hallucination.
I SWEAR his profile is looking normal.  I feel the hardness in his belly but from above, just walking by, he looks like a normal cat!
(The sellers of the DCA are not real good at advice and don't have a very thorough site for info, but they are good cheerleaders, saying that the WORST side effects are some neuropathy and if the tumor dies too quickly it can overload the animals system and cause organ failure.)  But as the prognoisis is so bad, we are double dosing and I swear, I THINK I see results.

Pat me on the head and say "well.. that is very nice..."  I don't mind being humored.

On and off the edge....

I am going a little over the edge.  It is temporary.

For some reason he seems worse on weekends.
I had a bit of turkey and he likes it.  So I pinch off very tiny bite sized bits, as he seems to gnarf.  Last weekend it was some chicken... swallowed a bunch and threw ALL of it back at me.  Totally emptied his stomach of about half an hour of eating so I was worried he had no ability to digest.
But this week he seems to do good for about two teaspoons of canned food about three times a day and lots of treats to chase.  He is barely munching the dry.
So.... this morning he did the same thing with about a nice teaspoon and a half or so of tiny turkey chunks.

Yesterday I got my jar of DCA.  It is powdered and I apparently need a device that cannot be found - a .01mg scale - on a weekend.  I have a friend that I can't get to that we were going to measure out dosages of this completely uncertified tumor shrinking compound that I was hoping might make room in his body for bodily functions by making the cantaloupe a little smaller....
With him turning up his nose at food... well not really but having a perpetual upset stomach, I am not sure how to get it into him.  He really holds a grudge now when I give him his meds....

More to come, just venting.
Tomorrow I will get some of the special diet the vet gave me to shove down his throat and tell her of my science experiments.  But today I just watch him... sleep... and worse, just stare.
dj*